DOA PSAs
by SniperRed
Summary: Helpful life tips from Ayane & Kasumi. WARNING: May contain graphic violence and dirty words.
1. Drugs

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN AYANE, KASUMI, OR ANY OTHER DOA CHARCTER THAT MAY APPEAR IN THIS FIC! (I'd like to own Ayane though, she's freakin' awesome!!)

Our two favorite ninjas, Kasumi and Ayane, are on vacation and walking down the street some where in America trying to find a place to eat. Before they can however, they come across an American teen selling some type of of drug. How he got the drugs, they would not know.

"Hey, you two!" called the drug addicted teen.

"What is it?" asked Kasumi, curious as to what the boy could possibly what.

"What the fuck do you what, kid?" asked Ayane, not really caring what the teen boy had to say.

"Do you two ladies want some weed?" the boy offered, holding a bag of weed in his hand.

"No! Drugs are bad for you!" said Kasumi, disgusted that he tried to sell them that stuff.

"Oh, come on! Weed isn't a drug, it's just a plant." replied the American teen.

"You still shouldn't be out here smoking that stuff. You should be going to school and preparing for your future!" said Kasumi.

"Yeah, get your ass back to class, ya little prick!" added Ayane.

"Come on, don't you two wanna be cool?" asked the boy.

"I am cool! I'm awesome and I kick fucking ass!" declared Ayane while giving him the finger.

"There is nothing 'cool' about a fool on drugs!" added Kasumi.

"Ah, you two are just lame!" he replied. "And you, you're just gay!" he said while pointing to Ayane.

Ayane became extreamly pissed off and took out her kunai knife. She plunged the kunai into the boy's neck and twisted it.

"Um... Ayane?" said Kasumi, attemping to stop Ayane from brutalizing the young man.

As if completly ignoring kasumi, Ayane continued to mutilate the poor boy. She removed the kunai from his neck and started to gorge out his eyeballs, blood spraying all over.

"Uh...Ayane?" Kasumi still got no responce.

After gorging out his eyes, Ayane ripped open his torso with her bare hands and pulled out some of his organs. What a bloody mess!

"AYANE!!"

"WHAT!!" Ayane finally answered.

"Um... I think he's dead..." said Kasumi, looking at the boy's now bloody corpse.

"Oh...right" Ayane decided to stop.

"Well, remember kids! Drugs are bad for you!" Kasumi says, breaking the forth wall.

"And if I catch you smoking pot, or any of that other shit, I'll FUCKING KILL YOU!!" warns Ayane.

"Hey, any of you two want some of this coke?" some random kid offscreen asks.

"DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!" Ayane screams as she charges at the boy with her katana.

Ayane kills the poor sap while Kasumi sighs in despair.

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Please leave a review. Oh, and if you find any spelling errors, please let me know!


	2. Stealing

_SK- I would just like to give a big thank you to those people who reviewed and read the last chapter. Keep the reviews comin', and **constructive** criticism is welcomed. Flamers will be flamed right back and cursed the hell out!_

**Today's topic - Stealing**

In a little town, there was a grocery store and a 12 year old boy named Joey was shopping there. Joey went to the store to buy his mom something to cook for dinner tonight, and to get himself a little treat. He got some porkchops and Mac n cheese for dinner, and a bag of nacho flavored chips. He was just about to go buy for the food, until he saw something he liked.

"Yum, cherry flavored BOOM pops!" Joey said looking at the bag of sweet lolipops.

Joey checked his pocket to see if he had enough money, which he unfortunatly didn't.

"Aw crap, I'm a dollar short." sighed the disappointed Joey.

Just then, Joey had an idea. It was a stupid and horrible idea, but why the hell not?

"Maybe no one will notice if I hide it under my jacket." whispered Joey.

"Planning on stealing, are we?" said a voice behide Joey.

"Who said that?" Joey said as he turned around to see the owner of said voice. He saw a woman with purple hair standing right in front of him. Well, if it isn't our good friend Ayane!

"I did ya little shit, and if you know what's good for ya you will not steal those lolipops. Only theives and ninjas steal other people's shit." said Ayane.

"But they're just lolipops, I don't see what the big deal is." Joey said with a confused look on his face.

"The 'Big deal' is that stealing is a crime, ya brat. Do you know what will happen if you get caught stealing?"

"What'll happen?" asked Joey.

"I'll tell ya, you're gonna get locked up and sent to 'the joint'." Ayane told him. She could see fear growing in his eyes.

"You mean jail?"

"That's right. And do ya know what'll happen when they send you to jail?" Ayane asked, her voice sounding frightening to Joey.

Joey shoke his head, meaning that he did not know. He awaited Ayane's answer.

"They're gonna lock you up in a dirty cell with roaches crawlin' all over the place and no toilet paper."

This info made Joey cringe a little.

"And one day, while you're in the showers, you're probably gonna drop your bar of soap."

"Wait, what's so bad about dropping soap in prison?" Joey asked, now confused. He thought dropping soap in front of naked men couldn't be a bad thing. Boy, was he wrong.

"Don't interupt! Anyway, when you bend over to pick up the soap, you're gonna get raped! IN THE ASS!!" said Ayane, trying to sound as menacing as possible.

Joey was now shaking in fear, he was totally scared.

"Do you want to get raped up the ass?" asked Ayane.

"NO!! OH GOD NO!!" yelled Joey.

"Then I suggest that you just leave those lolipops alone and go pay for your shit."

"Okay, I'll do that." Joey thanked Ayane before he got in line to pay for his stuff.

Ayane smiled triumphantly.

"Well, looks like I've pervented another youth from being raped up the butt. I'm such a good role model!" Ayane said with a smile on her face. "Now quickly, Kasumi. Put these chocolate bars inside your panties so no one will see them." she handed the chocolate bars to Kasumi, who had been hiding in the frozen food section.

With an annoyed look on her face, Kasumi said, "If we get caught, you are SO taking the blame for this."

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Please review! And remember, thieves suck!! Ninja's are awesome!


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